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Lou Hunny

I was very shy kid and kept my nose in books because of it. At the time it was easier for me to relate to textbooks than people and quietly hid in libraries because of it. I knew very little about the opposite sex and logically deduced that if I read enough stories about romance I would be an expert when I had my first kiss with a boy.

I was a late bloomer and didn’t experience that until I was a sophomore in high school. My friend Kandy was having a sleep over so she invited two of her friends and I to her house. My parents knew her parents so the legitimacy of the request was not questioned. What my parents didn’t know was that her parents were not going to be home for the weekend and we’d have the house all to ourselves. Kandy’s friend Missy invited her boyfriend Scott and three of his friends over. I had guy friends but not close ones, let alone converse with boys I never met before. We raided her parents’ alcohol cabinet and we started to drink beer and started talking. As the night progressed we started to move into different areas of the house.

My friend Kandy paired up with Paul in the backyard, my friend Donna paired up with Mike in the kitchen and I was paired up with Steve in the living room. He was a kind, gentle and soft-spoken guy who made small talk with me while trying to put his arm around me. I could smell beer on his breath and an hour before he had smoked a few cigarettes with Paul. Four hours had gone by and to sober up I was nursing a coke and looked down to see what time it was. When I looked up and smiled at Steve he bent down to kiss me.

It was only a millisecond in time, but that moment will always stay ingrained in my brain. I said to myself, “This is it! I’m finally going to have my first kiss!” I had read my mother’s Harlequin’s Novels and randomly picked up romance novels at the local library. The man takes the woman in his arms, turns her head and BAM! It would be an earth shaking, head spinning, fire works explosion of a moment. When his lips touched mine and his tongue explored my mouth all I could taste was cigarettes! It was like kissing an ashtray and a wet one at that! I pulled away and weakly smiled at Steve. He kissed me again only to now taste cigarettes and a hint of beer left in his mouth. Needless to say I was disappointed. I wondered why I didn’t feel the earth move nor felt or heard fireworks bursting in my head.

I now can laugh at the experience, but at the time I had wondered if the romance novels lied to me about kissing let alone “the first” kiss. Needless to say, I’ve had many kisses since then from boys and it has gotten better over the years. My first kiss may not have been ideal but it certainly made for a great laugh and a comical moment from my youth.

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