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Kissing The Ugly Toad

My first kiss wasn't happening, and wasn't happening, and just wasn't happening! How could I go into High School next year without having mastered this Junior High School rite of passage? Everyone else had been kissed, but not me. I just wanted to get it over with. To get the deed done. And all that teenage girl kissing my hand and kissing the mirror just wasn't cutting it.

So, I picked the fattest and ugliest boy I knew - Gilbert - even his name was fat and ugly - someone who would never say no to me - and decided to get the deed done. He was in my neighborhood, on my school bus, and in my church youth group, so at least there was a possibility of arranging an encounter with him. After one youth group event, I used all my Junior High School feminine wiles and lured him downstairs into the basement. And wonders of wonders, I somehow enticed him into a kiss. It was dreadful, of course, but it was over with, and that's all that mattered. And now I could go off to High School. I had been initiated into the club!

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